The Courage to Move On by Mariana T.Eiane

A Christmas Reflection on Healing Beyond Generational Blame

As the year comes to an end, Christmas often becomes a time for reflection — a chance to examine the past and envision the future. While the holidays can bring warmth and joy, they can also resurface old wounds, family tensions, and a lingering sense of unfinished emotional business. It’s easy to get caught up in revisiting what went wrong. But what if this Christmas, we embraced a different approach?

Carl Jung once said, “If you feel afraid, be brave enough to run away.” This season, I want to celebrate the courage it takes to move forward, to forgive, and to let go of what no longer serves us. Healing, much like the spirit of Christmas, is about renewal and hope. It’s a time to turn the page and focus on what lies ahead rather than staying tethered to the past.

Healing is as much about courageously moving forward as it is about looking back.

Leaving behind what no longer serves us is an act of bravery, not weakness. I left home when I was 12, a choice that often surprises people. Their immediate assumption is that I was running from something: a bad situation, a person, or an unbearable life. In reality, I wasn’t running from but running toward freedom and growth. I saw opportunities for independence and trusted my ability to carve a better path.

This aligns with Jung’s philosophy that courage often looks like fear in motion. Society might judge running away as instability or failure, but Jung encourages us to see it differently: “Be unstable. A new stability will reassert itself.” Christmas, with its themes of birth and renewal, reminds us that courage often lies in embracing instability as we move toward new beginnings. Running isn’t about cowardice; it’s about trusting yourself to move toward something better.

Christmas and the Gift of Forgiveness

The holidays often amplify the narratives of generational trauma — the idea that our struggles stem from the unresolved issues of those who came before us. While this concept can be enlightening, it can also anchor us in cycles of blame, keeping us from finding peace with our families or ourselves. We should recognize the limitations of this framework. Blaming generations back — can be or become a way of avoiding personal responsibility for our own growth. As Jung observed, “The only way of delimiting the Self is by experiment.” This means breaking free from inherited narratives and testing the boundaries of our own potential.

In today’s therapeutic culture, we often hear about the need to heal deeply, explore generational traumas, and unearth every wound in the name of self-discovery. While self-reflection has its merits, an overemphasis on the past can leave us stuck, replaying the same narratives without progress.

The mental health industry has grown significantly, offering tools and support for a variety of struggles. However, it’s worth questioning whether some aspects of this industry encourage prolonged dependency rather than fostering independence.

Therapy is invaluable for processing trauma, but it shouldn’t become a lifelong crutch. There’s a fine line between healing and stagnation. When the focus remains on past wounds indefinitely — often exacerbated by buzzwords like “generational trauma” — it can prevent individuals from living fully in the present.

Christmas offers an opportunity to shift this perspective. Instead of dwelling on what past generations did wrong, we can embrace forgiveness and recognize that everyone — including our parents and grandparents — did the best they could with what they had. As Jung said, “The law was made by man… and we can be above it.” Let this season be a reminder that we have the power to rewrite our own stories, free from the constraints of blame and bitterness.

Forgiveness — not necessarily for the sake of others, but for ourselves — can be a powerful tool for liberation.

Healing Through Action This Christmas

The holiday season often invites introspection, but it also calls us to action. Whether through acts of kindness, setting intentions for the new year, or simply choosing to focus on joy, Christmas teaches us that healing happens in motion.

Here are a few ways to embrace this spirit of renewal:

1. Let Go of Old Narratives: Use the holidays as a symbolic moment to release grudges or outdated beliefs that weigh you down. Write them down and burn the paper as a way to signify moving on.

2. Focus on Gratitude: While it’s easy to fixate on what’s missing, Christmas is a time to appreciate what we have — family, friends, or even just the ability to start anew.

3. Embrace the Present: Whether it’s decorating a tree, sharing a meal, or simply enjoying the stillness of a winter evening, allow yourself to be fully present in the moment.

4. Gift Yourself Permission to Move On: Healing isn’t about staying stuck in the past; it’s about giving yourself the freedom to pursue joy and fulfillment.

The Christmas Spirit of Forgiveness and Growth

Christmas offers a gentle reminder to forgive — not to absolve others of responsibility, but to free ourselves from the burden of anger and resentment.

Jung’s idea of the “self-regulating Self” speaks to this: within us is an inner wisdom that knows the way forward. This Christmas, honor that wisdom by focusing on courage, forgiveness, and the resilience to move forward.

A Christmas Call to Courage

Just as Christmas symbolizes hope and renewal, let this season inspire you to let go of what no longer serves you and move toward what truly matters.

Moving On as a Radical Act

Healing means embracing life’s uncertainties, taking courageous steps forward, and trusting ourselves to navigate whatever comes next. Running isn’t cowardly; it’s often the bravest thing we can do. If you feel like running, dare to run, to experiment, and to move on — not as an escape, but as a way of stepping into our own power.

By focusing less on the past and more on the present, we can move from being passive participants in our healing journey to active creators of a fulfilling and empowered life. As Jung reminds us, “Go as far as your desire goes… and you will presently find that you have gone as far as your own laws allow.”

“The only way of delimiting the Self is by experiment.”

So experiment with forgiveness, courage, and the audacity to leave behind what weighs you down. This Christmas, give yourself the gift of freedom — the freedom to run, to grow, and to move forward with hope and resilience.

May your holiday season be filled with the courage to embrace new beginnings and the joy of knowing that healing is always within your reach.